


Is it worth the suffering?

by Widow_Spyder



Series: Whumptober 2019 (Anime) [5]
Category: Dr. STONE (Anime), Dr. STONE (Manga)
Genre: Contains SPOLIERS FOR THE MANGA, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, For the Manga, Gen is scared, Hurt/Comfort, I REPEAT SPOLIERS, M/M, Sengen is canon, Serious Injuries, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Whumptober 2019, You can't change my mind, prompt #7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 20:42:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20954612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Widow_Spyder/pseuds/Widow_Spyder
Summary: He could be with the others, but instead, he decided to escape and walk away. Isolating himself was easier, no matter how much he hated it.He didn’t know why he did this to himself.





	Is it worth the suffering?

Perhaps there was a time when Gen was younger that he didn’t feel alone. In the very early days of his existence — a time he couldn’t even remember anymore. He was sure of it. No more than that, he _clung_ to it. A hope that at one point or another, he knew what it felt like; even for just a second. The rest he remembered well, even when he tried not to. 

A child in the dark who fears only the little things. 

The shadows and the noises. The monster in their closet or under the bed. For Gen, the monster was too real. Like pins on his skin, the unbearable need to be noticed by anyone was strong. _Why wouldn’t they notice? Why wouldn’t they care? _

_Why wouldn’t he ask? _

—————————————

The current time was sometime 3,700 or so years into the future — around 6 o’clock according to the setting sun.

Yet, he was still 19 years old. That’s what Tsukasa had said to him after he was freed from his stone prison. Now the world was brand new with nothing left from the old. Buildings, technology, _people,_ they were all gone. Tsukasa said it was good. Gen was biased. 

Tsukasa’s empire was primitive at best. Stone tools, meat for almost every meal, and clothes made with animal skin. Gen didn’t know how he felt about it. Tsukasa had started breaking the statues of the people he deemed _unworthy_ of saving. In other words, Gen was living in an empire that was ruled by a murderer who was happily followed by others who thought his actions were right. _Were they right?_

Of course, Gen was fully aware that a lot of people from the old world weren’t saints. He was in show business after all. He was well aware of the difference between corrupted and pure. If those corrupted people were to wake in a brand new world, there would be no telling what kind of trouble they’d bring. _Was it right?!_ Could Tsukasa tell who was corrupted just by looking at their stone faces? More importantly, was he really trying to justify someone who was killing people?

_How did he even get here? _

When he woke up the morning of June 3rd, almost 4,000 years ago, the last thing he expected was getting turned to stone for thousands of years. He just went about his day as usual. Prepared for his next show, had lunch in a nice cafe, rehearsed, got ready, and did the show. He hadn’t known it would be his last day in modern society. 

There’s a saying that you don’t really appreciate what you have until it’s gone. 

Gen was biased.

—————————————

About eight days had passed in the new world he had woken up in when Tsukasa gave him an order.

_Find the village where a girl who attacked me is from and see if Senku (the smartest man alive) is there and alive. _

_Senku… The man Tsukasa had killed with his bare hands._ Or at least that’s what Tsukasa had told him. 

It was one thing that Tsukasa was breaking the statues of random (and possibly innocent) people, but knowing that Tsukasa had no problem killing _living_ people as well? Let’s just say Gen was grateful for the lone mission away from the empire. 

The nights were the hardest. When there was nothing but pitch black all around him except for the starry night above, he found himself staring at it to avoid looking in the dark. Sleep never came, and why would it? Sleep was hard to come by when he was in Tsukasa’s empire, so why would it come now? Paranoia was intense in his case and sleeping with a bunch of people he didn’t know that were trying to “purify” humanity wasn’t helping. The “shadows” as he called them weren’t helping him either. 

Whenever he felt truly alone, he would always spiral down the same path of destruction. Distractions — like his phone — always helped back then, but here there was nothing but him and nature. And right now, as he fiddled around with a couple of sticks, nature was not on his side. The night crept onto him like a black blanket, and he found himself shivering despite the layers he was wearing. It was _dark._ He didn’t like it. Pins were digging into his skin, and he started to breathe heavily. The fear of what could be lurking around where he couldn’t see was overwhelming, and he found himself on the verge of tears despite his best efforts to get it to stop. In the end, he let them fall. 

_It was alright to cry in this world,_ he decided. It was a normal reaction to waking up in unfamiliar land with strangers and being forcibly thrust into something he didn’t want to be apart of. Crying just this once was ok. When it was over, the sun was coming up, once again lighting the way and making the darkness temporarily slip away. He wiped his face and continued. 

The journey ended up taking him two days to complete. Two days alone with nothing but himself, the clothes on his back, and the directions Tsukasa gave him to follow. By the third hour of the first day, he was picking every flower he saw and stashing them into pouches for safekeeping. At first, he had only meant them as a souvenir to remind him of a world he could never go back to. But as the bag filled more and more, he realized it made a pretty good guard pouch. He already had multiple bags of berry juice filled to simulate fake blood, but the guard pouches could work nicely to protect him further. 

He _was_ going into unknown territory alone, after all. These villagers could be savages like he used to see on Tv. The last thing he expected to see when he finally arrived was a _ramen stand…_

He didn’t even need to put his manipulative charm on. It was permanently stuck already. 

Like clockwork, he moved along the outskirts of the village, keeping his head down and staying quiet. When a little girl with a watermelon on her head came up to him in a rush and shoved a bowl of (green?) ramen into his arms, he smiled and thanked her. He headed over towards some rocks, away from the others, and sat down. The bowl in his hands was hot and smelled deliciously like the old food of his former home. He was thoroughly disappointed when he tasted it to find it tasted awful. The broth was good, but the noodles tasted like old medicine leaves. It reminded him of a time when he forced himself to drink medicinal tea when he got sick. He got through 3 more bites before losing his appetite. 

He settled for some more surveying instead. Most interesting of note was the guy running the ramen stand. Judging by the villager’s “in awe” reactions to the ramen, he must’ve been the one to make it. He was different; that was for sure, but maybe he was just an outsider? It wasn’t until he turned more towards him that Gen was able to see the familiar formula on the guy’s clothes. E = mc squared. No way, the village people knew of that. Only someone from the modern era would know. Which meant that this guy was the “Senku” he was supposed to find. And he was _alive._

It was time to make his move. He thought about how he would make his entrance. No doubt, the village people would be wary of him with his sudden appearance. Not to mention, he looked rather strange, with is double-colored hair and layered clothing. He would probably be questioned or threatened if he didn’t tread lightly. He settled for saying something only an old modern person would know about it. An off-handed comment that wouldn’t seem so strange to the village folk if they weren’t paying attention. 

“Ahh, this is making me thirsty for a drink, like say, Cola.”

—————————————

The time he spends in the “science kingdom” is oddly long. But the experiments and work Senku has for them are interesting. They were crafting something that was for sure. But what?

The ramen had come with an unfair price, in his opinion. He hated manual labor even in his old life, and now he was pumping air into a boiling furnace as “payment” for the ramen that was shoved in his hands. It wasn’t fair, he had four bites of that thing, not to mention it tasted awful! 

His arms felt like they would fall off any minute. So, of freakin course, Senku decided to ask him, _now,_ about his alliance with Tsukasa. He knew Senku didn’t buy his lies for a second. The way he put it was too obvious, plus the petrification scar on his face was a dead give-away. 

So he told them the truth. Senku and his comrades didn’t seem like bad people. In comparison to Tsukasa’s empire, they were much _warmer,_ despite their wariness around him. He considered making a deal with them. But would they agree with him on alliance? Tsukasa hadn’t been lying when he said Senku was smart. He was brutally honest with people, too, which gave him an open path with dealing. 

Perhaps they would consider it? Sure, not now, but later along the line. If he stayed long enough and helped them enough, then just maybe he wouldn’t have to isolate himself anymore. 

For now, though, he would keep to himself and help in his own way whenever it was needed. As much as he hated the work, he was grateful for the new distractions. He stopped a brute looking guy from attacking the others as lightning pounded in the sky, he pumped that furnace thing from hell again and convinced the two village guards to spin some machine — all for the sake of this one moment. 

There wasn’t a switch to flip, but as the bright light suddenly erupted off the top of Chrome’s hut, Gen could feel like something had flipped. As everyone settled down from their excitement and discussed the nature of his alliance with Tsukasa, he wandered alone through the science kingdom again. Sure, Chrome had yelled at him that the science kingdom was so much better than Tsukasa’s empire, and _yeah,_ he did tell them he wasn’t one to choose sides and only did things for his benefit, but… Little did they know, he was already on their side. It was just a matter of convincing the other side that he was still with them. What the science kingdom didn’t seem to get was that he would be lying to a murderer… And if he were caught, he’d no doubt be killed. He needed a plan; a foolproof one. 

Then he got attacked.

—————————————

The first night, right after the attack, was hell. He had to endure Senku, and the others hauling his beaten body up the ladder of Chrome’s shed and feel their cold hands poking and prodding him as they evaluated his injuries. Finally, they lowered him onto a mat on the floor, pulled a blanket over him, and started placing these weird mixes of plants onto his body. He had never wished so hard for some painkillers. Yet, The world didn’t have that; even with Senku, it was going to be a while before anyone would see them again.

The science kingdom was making antibiotics, not painkillers, and they weren’t even close to finishing the antibiotics either. So he had to endure the weird plant mix, plastered to his skin with leaves as makeshift gauze. It took them ages to put it all on. He must’ve passed out at some point through it, though, because the next thing he knew, he was staring at the wooden ceiling above him as a bright light streamed through the doors. He squinted against it. 

His mind went back to the night before. He wondered why they were taking care of him; why they were helping him. 

“Sleeping beauty finally awakens then?” A voice near him breaks the silence.

Senku. 

“I’ve got food, courtesy of the Senku ramen stand.” 

Gen rolls over and grimaces but hides it with a smile. It’s easy to do now. “Thank you, Senku-chan ~ But I don’t really feel like eating the — what did you call it?”

“Foxtail millet.” 

“Foxtail millet, ramen.” Gen makes a face as he says it, which makes Senku smirk. Gen blames his injuries for the way his heart starts beating double at the sight of it. 

“It’s a good thing, today’s soup is just broth then.” Senku sits next to him and places the bowl in front of him. The smirk hasn’t left, and neither has Gen’s heart calmed down. 

“Oh, wonderful.” He replies.

—————————————

He’s alone most of the day. Senku and Chrome are busy with the cure-all drug. Kohaku is busy training Kinrou and Ginrou, and Suika does her own thing to help everyone out. Occasionally, she’ll visit him during the day, bringing him various flowers and waving them in front of his face. She’d also change the rag on top of his head with clean, freshwater and talk to him about the random things the others were doing. He was honestly grateful for the company, even though it never lasted long.

The days are the hardest for him now. When he can’t sleep, and he’s alone, stuck in his makeshift bed with nothing to do. The shadows return full force, and there’s nothing he can do to stop them, other than curl up on his side and clench his eyes shut. The position hurts his injuries, but he doesn’t care. At least at night, he can sleep. That’s only because Chrome and Senku sleep in the same place as him, though. He doesn’t know why their company makes it easier for him to sleep; it just does. 

The problem is, his injuries aren’t healing. His bruises won’t fade, and the aches never leave. He can’t sit up for long periods, and it pains him even to breathe. They’re all sitting around him, having a meeting, when the problem becomes worrying. 

“I plan on participating in the Grand Bout.” Kohaku is saying. “The kingdom of science team with Kinrou, Ginrou and me, will do whatever it takes to stop Magma’s victory.” 

“Yeah.” Chrome agrees. 

He wants to join in on the conversation. He wants to tell Kohaku to beat up Magma in revenge for nearly killing him, but he can’t manage it. He ends up struggling to breathe again. He feels Suika, who’s wiping a cold cloth on his head, falters as if she had done something wrong. It’s painful, and he wants to tell her he’s fine; if only he could get some air into his lungs. 

“Hey, Gen, are you alright?” Chrome beats Suika to it. 

Gen wants to laugh because _no, he is so obviously not ok _and he hates that he can’t seem to manage to tell them that; _He’s fine._ He wants to tell them not to leave him alone during the day. He wants to tell them that it hurts. _He wants to tell them he’s scared._ But he won’t; not now, not ever. 

“His recovery is going to take a long time at this rate.” Kohaku states. 

“Which means -”

“Yeah. We have a short time limit before Tsukasa comes to kill me.” Senku finishes for Chrome. 

He can practically feel the dread wash over the group. As much as he wants to stay here and pretend the first ten days of his new existence never happened. It can’t be done. Gen opens his eyes a little. Damn it; he can’t lay here forever. He needs to go back to Tsukasa’s territory and report back before they come here first. Even though he doesn’t want to return, he has to, and that annoys him. 

It’s late at night when he and Senku make their first deal. It’s a corny deal, but Gen is tired, and it’s the only thing he can think of. So he asks him. 

“Can you do it, in this stone world, Senku-chan. Can you make a bottle of cola?” 

Senku leans back and tells him without a single doubt that he can — it’s all the confirmation he needs to know. 

He smiles and sleeps a little longer before Senku is quietly nudging him awake. The sun isn’t up, but they work together to get Gen up, dressed, and down the ladder of Chrome’s hut, all while not waking the latter up. He’s shaky on his feet, and Senku has to hold him the first couple of steps until he gets the hang of it. From there, he runs — and he doesn’t stop.

—————————————

Gen stumbles on his way to a secluded area in the forest just outside the cave of miracles. He’s panting and limping, as his muscles ache from the strain. He thinks he might’ve twisted his ankle when he tripped on his mad dash to Tsukasa-chan’s territory. That, along with his previous injuries that are aching twice as hard now, Gen wants to sleep for a week. He can’t, though; wouldn’t be able to even if he tried.

Sitting on a rock to rest, Gen looked up at the mountain that was Tsukasa’s Empire. He was their first traiter — a double agent to his new allies and a spy to his new enemies. 

Gen sighed. “Man, this really isn’t worth it. All for a single bottle of cola…” A smile was on his face, regardless. “I hope it’s super well-cooled, at least.” He said to no one in particular. 

He sat there for a while, just listening to the forest sounds as his muscles relaxed as much as they could now that he wasn’t moving around. His smile had long since faded away. 

The shadows around him returned. He shivered as he felt the familiar phantom pins entering his skin. He couldn’t hear the forest sounds anymore. Not the rushing water of a nearby stream or the rustling of the leaves as the wind gently blew around him. He slid off the rock and buried his head in his knees. 

“Gen!” A shout had him jumping back into reality so fast; he was sure his heart stopped beating. 

“Here!” He shouted back, cursing when his voice came out scratchy. 

Footsteps and suddenly, a figure rounded the trees and headed towards him. Ahh, it was Ukyo; the one who shot an arrow at him when he charged into Tsukasa’s cave. 

“Preparations are ready to treat you.” 

Gen tilted his head in confusion. _Treat him?_ Did they know he was lying to them? They couldn’t… 

Ukyo looked equally as confused, though for him, he was probably confused because Gen was confused. “For your injuries?” He elaborated. 

_Oh right. _He had forgotten about those. 

“Yes, I know Ukyo-chan ~ Let’s go, shall we?”

“Right…” 

Silence overtook them on the walk back; Gen was grateful for it. Ukyo has especially good hearing, so if he were to talk and lie in his current state, he would most likely be called out on it. All he had to do was keep his usual uncaring smile on, and he’d be fine. 

“Are you alright?” Ukyo suddenly asked him. Because when did he ever get what he wanted? 

Gen was a little surprised. _Since when did he care?_ Gen’s defenses screamed at him. 

“I’m fine, Ukyo-chan ~ A little sore, yes. Tired, definitely, but nothing I can’t handle.”

“If you say so.” 

Gen could’ve breathed a sigh of relief when the “med” cave appeared before them, and Ukyo left for more _pressing_ matters. He immediately took back that sigh when he remembered just how primitive Tsukasa’s empire was. The science kingdom was so much more advanced, even with their plant mixes and leaf gauzes. He missed it already. He missed _them_ already.

—————————————

He returns almost a week and a half later, bearing news of Tsukasa’s army coming for them. The science kingdom had changed since he last saw it. But what mattered right now was protecting it, all without revealing himself a traitor.

It was challenging, especially after Senku outed himself to be alive. 

Hyouga and his men retreated into the forest once he had pulled the fake gun trick, but that didn’t stop them from coming up with more plans to take them on. Gen was able to buy the science kingdom a couple of days so that they could prepare with a ploy about the weather, making it impossible for them to use their gun-powdered weapons. He ended up buying them three days. He just hoped they were enough. 

In those three days, he ended up being interrogated by Hyouga, which was terrifying for him, seeing as he had just effectively stabbed Kinrou and nearly killed him with his spear. He was questioned why he had told them Senku was dead when he was alive. Gen responded easily with a pre-prepared lie. Lies for him, at this point, were as natural as breathing. To make them convincing was a different aspect of it, but one he mastered all the same. He considered himself successful when Hyouga didn’t kill him. 

Then Hyouga figured it out after he had sabotaged his spear. He was a traitor, and now, the entire Tsukasa empire knew. He had to sabotage it though, Suika had put her own life in danger to deliver to him a small but sharp knife just for the sake of ruining that “hollow” spear. 

The task was simple and easy enough to pull off, and he felt immense relief when it broke apart at the last second before hitting Kohaku. Honestly, with that spear, the science kingdom would barely have a chance. 

Then Homura set fire to the village, and everything went downhill again. The sulfuric acid vapor, as he was later told, barreled down the mountain towards them, nearly killing Suika. Thank goodness for Kohaku’s quick reflexes. The rest of Hyouga’s men died. It was then that Homura and Hyouga retreated and returned to Tsukasa, no doubt revealing everything to him. 

He was officially not part of them anymore. He _officially_ was a citizen of the kingdom of science.

—————————————

The fight was over. The village celebrated their success in surviving. And Gen was nowhere to be found.

Well, if you looked, you could actually find him by the river. He was sitting against a tree, all by himself in the dark. The sun had set a while ago, but it was still early for nighttime. 

He could be with the others, but instead, he decided to escape and walk away. Isolating himself was easier, no matter how much he hated it. He didn’t know why he did this to himself. 

The shadows were back again. Gen groaned to himself and buried his head once again in his arms. Couldn’t they leave him alone? Like usual, his breathing picked up as he was surrounded by darkness. He could feel like his nails piercing his skin, but he didn’t care. Anything to ground him. He tried to think of the better recent events. 

Ruri was cured... The village survived... He got his cola; which was nice.

It tasted kind of bad on the aftertaste, but at the time, he didn’t care as he swallowed the whole thing in one sip. 

Senku was the one to tell him to wait in the lab after he reminded everyone he couldn’t walk into the village just yet. “You can just wait all lonely in the lab then.” Senku had responded. 

“Such as fate for a loner like me.” Gen had told himself. Then he saw the cola and a new feeling burst through him. He could’ve laughed, and he didn’t know why. _Why was he so happy?_ He felt giddy as he drank it all. 

But he was still alone. Come to think of it, where was he going to sleep now? He wasn’t injured, so he probably didn’t have a place in Chrome’s shed anymore… He really didn’t want to sleep in the dark forest again. Just the thought made his heart race. He felt like crying again. Tears were already gathering in his eyes, and the shadows had almost completely surrounded him. He felt like screaming. 

“You know, you don’t have to sit out here like a loner.” A voice cut through and broke him partially out of his stupor. He didn’t even have to look up to know it was Senku, yet he kept his face buried, not wanting to be seen like this. 

“There’s a bowl of stew with your name on it back at camp, mentalist.” Senku shifted on his feet before crouching down in front of him. Gentle hands removed Gen’s own away from his face, forcing him to look up at him. “It’d be rude to let it go cold.” 

Senku was softly smiling at him, and Gen could feel his heart pound. He couldn’t respond; just staring at him until he realized that the shadows were receding. For once, they had left entirely, and he felt like he could breathe again. It was refreshing. Gen wiped his face on his sleeve before taking a deep breath and finding his voice again. 

“Of course, it would Senku-chan~” Gen sincerely smiled for the first time in a long time. 

Senku smiled back and helped pull him to his feet. Gen was shocked when Senku didn’t release one of his hands and instead held on and started leading him through the forest. 

The stars were bright in the sky as the dim light from the moon guided their way back to the science kingdom. Gen tightened his grip on Senku’s hand. _He wasn’t alone anymore._

Gen wouldn’t be able to stop the blush on his face if he tried.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok Ok Ok! This is probably my last fic for whumptober for a while, because I got a lot of work to do in the next coming days and won't have time to write. Yes, I do realize I skipped two days already. 
> 
> Anyway, to make up for it, here's a 4,000 word fic on Gen isolating himself and Senku helping to pull him out of it. 
> 
> As always! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
